The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear
Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl
I’m a boy
Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight
jesus this post is one train wreck after another
My great grandpa got hit by a train once.
forever wondering what the punchline of uncle vernon’s japanese golfer joke was
OH MY FUCKING GOD
I wish my name was Zoe so I could introduce myself like this
SHE WILL NEVER BE PABLO
what has four letters and is very hard
making my way downtown oh my fucking god where am i
chris control your goddamn face you have just gone through an extremely painful super-serum transformation you did not just have the diddly doo orgasm
…actually, at this point, Steve’s just now experiencing the sudden absence of both recent extreme pain and long-term low level pain. He’s probably so high on endorphins that the expression is completely accurate.
Also, he was asthmatic. This is the first time in twenty years that his lungs work. Ever had an oxygen high?
don’t blame women for the fact that someone they trusted betrayed them in such an intimate way
solidarity with my ladies
for real i’m so sick of everyone blaming women when their asshole partners share their PRIVATE, CONSENSUAL pictures with the public
THIS IS FOR EVERY GENDER